Intimacy is something we all Want. It is one of the needs of life, a feeling of close connection with another. It's one of the things that drives us to get into relationships. And yet, once we're in a relationship, intimacy comes and goes, and over time, it can be difficult to maintain.
Over time, intimacy becomes something that often seems elusive and we struggle to try to get it or keep it. Our intimacy needs can drive us to get a divorce, because if we aren't feeling intimate with our mate, we know we have to search elsewhere for it.
You can say that intimacy needs are hardwired into our systems. Males and females have different ways of getting these core needs fulfilled, and it's worth looking at these basic differences.
Sex equals intimacy for men, speaking in generalities. When men feel the need for intimacy and deeper connection, they want to have sex. This definitely brings closeness, but it only lasts a short time, then the men will often withdraw back behind their walls.
On the other hand, women can feel intimate in a larger number of ways. Sex is great, and they can feel intimate just through talking and being around other people. It isn't just physical for women most of the time.
You don't have intimacy forever just because you felt it once with your mate. You have to keep working on it. Sex can't be your only method for experiencing intimacy. Familiarity and taking each other for granted can kill off intimacy.
Communication is a great way to experience it, but it isn't in the words. It is in feeling completely accepted by and open to another, heard and understood. You can experience great intimacy with your mate without speaking a word or touching, and you can be touching and talking with your partner and feel none of it.
Your relationship doesn't have to lose intimacy over time. By shifting your behavior some you can begin to have more of it every day just from communicating and listening to your mate from the heart. When we feel heard and understood by our mate, rather than taken for granted, that is one simple way to have more intimacy every day.
Over time, intimacy becomes something that often seems elusive and we struggle to try to get it or keep it. Our intimacy needs can drive us to get a divorce, because if we aren't feeling intimate with our mate, we know we have to search elsewhere for it.
You can say that intimacy needs are hardwired into our systems. Males and females have different ways of getting these core needs fulfilled, and it's worth looking at these basic differences.
Sex equals intimacy for men, speaking in generalities. When men feel the need for intimacy and deeper connection, they want to have sex. This definitely brings closeness, but it only lasts a short time, then the men will often withdraw back behind their walls.
On the other hand, women can feel intimate in a larger number of ways. Sex is great, and they can feel intimate just through talking and being around other people. It isn't just physical for women most of the time.
You don't have intimacy forever just because you felt it once with your mate. You have to keep working on it. Sex can't be your only method for experiencing intimacy. Familiarity and taking each other for granted can kill off intimacy.
Communication is a great way to experience it, but it isn't in the words. It is in feeling completely accepted by and open to another, heard and understood. You can experience great intimacy with your mate without speaking a word or touching, and you can be touching and talking with your partner and feel none of it.
Your relationship doesn't have to lose intimacy over time. By shifting your behavior some you can begin to have more of it every day just from communicating and listening to your mate from the heart. When we feel heard and understood by our mate, rather than taken for granted, that is one simple way to have more intimacy every day.
About the Author:
You can learn much more about this in the free course 7 Vital Relationship Insights You Never Learned In School at How To Fix Relationship Problems. Johnnie S Laney teaches relationship and emotional intelligence courses and you can get more here Love Relationship Advice Help.
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